Family is like fudge.....sweet with a few nuts

Family is like fudge.....sweet with a few nuts
December 2008

Friday, August 7, 2009

Yes, I have a sister :)

July, 1993: Family Reunion in Provo, Utah. I had just had my first child, he was three months old. Lots of local family, lots of out of town family. I was excited, I had my own little family now and some of my siblings were there to meet me new little boy. My sister, Shery, was there with her husband and her two girls, Harlie (5) and Sydnie (almost 1). We had a great time.

Flash forward 16 years to Aug 2009. Here is how the conversation went:
(Me)"My sister is coming through town. They are moving from Arizona to Boise." (others)"You have a sister?" (Me)"Yes, I have a sister." (Others)"I never realized that."

My kids didn't even know I had a sister until about 5 years ago. Why, you ask? Well, when my sister joined our family, I was 5 and she was 10. I don't know exactly why we weren't close, but I kind of attribute it to the fact that we didn't grow up together as small children. I looked up to her, I thought her jewelry was awesome, 'shared' her earrings (although she always got mad), and liked some of the same music she did. In fact, that is how I got introduced to Kenny Rogers. She LOVED him and had lots of his music. She even went to one of his concerts. So I started to like his music and still listen to some of his older stuff. Then she left home, got married and moved. We weren't best friends, but I guess I thought we would keep in touch more, 'cause that is what family does, right? Well, not exactly.
I hadn't seen or heard from her since that family reunion in July 1993. There was one time in Nov a few years ago when we were almost together again as an entire family, which hadn't happened since my wedding in 1992, but that fell through and Shery and her family didn't make it to Thanksgiving with the rest of us. It was really kind of sad. There we were, 7 of 8 kids with all of our families. Hoping to take family pictures. Unfortunately, the family pictures we did take weren't complete.

Well, Shery and her family decided to move back to Boise. They left Arizona on Monday morning and needed a place to crash as they came through. Of course, our home was open and we had the space to accomodate Shery, Sean and Roudie (Harlie already lived in Boise and Sydnie was staying in AZ to finish school), plus 2 cockatoos, a baby peacock, a parakeet, and a dog. (I know!) They got into town around noon on Tuesday and stayed overnight and left Wednesday morning to head on to Boise. My kids were really excited to finally meet their Aunt Shery and her family, and we were excited to finally meet Roudie (almost 15). It turned out to be a great visit, they were able to get the rest that they needed to continue on with the trip, and we were able to get re-aquainted. Scott and Helen were there for Tuesday evening as well. I don't even know how long it had been since Scott had seen her, but Helen had never met her.

Sadly, there have been many times in the last 16 years that in talking about my family I sometimes would forget, subconciously, that I had a sister. How sad is that? I realize that our lifestyles are as different as they can be, but should that have an affect on our relationship? I didn't ever think that we would be best friends and talk every day, and visit all the time, but I didn't ever think that it would be 16 years between visits, phone calls or letters either.

I want to say to all of my sisters-in-law, on my side as well as my husbands side, that I am grateful for all of you, I consider all of you my sisters, and now hopefully I have gained one sister back. Not that she was ever gone, but hopefully now that we are all older and wiser (???) and we live closer to each other now that we can stay in touch more.

I hope everything works out for their family. They have had lots of ups and downs. I really hope that they realize that no matter what anyone thinks of anothers lifestyle or situation that family is family and we are there for each other when needed. I hope that she can see that in the help that my brother Tim and his daughter Sydne were able to give them when they were packing up the truck, I hope that they can see that in my parents who helped them line up a place to stay both here and in Boise until they can get settled, I hope they realize that in the help that my family was able to give them in a place to stay for the night on a long trip, and I hope that they realize that if any of the rest of my siblings were anywhere where they could have helped they would have, hands down. We are family.

I know this is kind of long, and the person who it is meant for the most will never read it, but I just wanted to get it out there that yes, I have a sister and hopefully it will stay in the forefront of my mind where it belongs. As many of you know me, I am not a totally sappy person, and those of you who know Shery know that she is even less of a sappy person, so there was no heart to heart between her and I, but I think the message between us got across in its own way.

Thanks for listening
Love to all
Darci and family

2 comments:

Tamara said...

Wow! 16 years is a long time. I'm glad that circumstances aligned in such a way that you were able to visit a bit, and hopefully more in the future. I think sometimes it's hard to stay in touch because it's just so dang easy not to : ) I don't call my brother nearly as much as I should.

Laura said...

Darc,
I am sitting here totally crying. I live 15 minutes from Julie and we see and talk to each other almost everyday. Our daughters are best friends and I consider her one of mine. However, something happened this summer and we got busy or something and we have lost that closeness. Thank you for showing me what I already knew. Sisters are priceless. No matter how hard it is to be so different or so alike, family is family. I love her! Thank you for the sweet message! Have a great time and make the effort. I know we will be grateful in the eternities! Love, Laura